Debunking Surrogacy Myths: Facts Behind the Journey
Surrogacy has become a manifestation of coming true for many people as they believe they can become parents without being judged or misunderstood. It is a viable option for a couple who are not able to conceive or have a biological child. As we know, everything has some pros and cons; likewise, surrogacy also comes with several myths and facts that need to be understood and well aware of.
If I had a dime for every time someone asked, “But isn’t the Surrogate the baby’s real mom?” I’d probably have enough to start a campaign that says, “No, she’s not.” The myths surrounding surrogacy are more than just a source of frustration; they can also be damaging. These misconceptions create stigma, spread doubt, and often overshadow the beautiful, life-changing stories of families being built.
We are on a mission to debunk these myths and shine a light on the truth surrounding this life-changing and life-creating journey.
Myth 1- Intended parents won’t bond with the baby
Fact- the fear among intended parents of not connecting with their child emotionally is true, as they believe surrogacy won’t allow them to develop a bond with the child. The truth is the bond between the child and intended parents begins at the stage of planning the reproductive program. The day of selecting a surrogate and being present at the birth ensures that a great, strong, and reliable attachment is developed between the intended parents and the baby.
Moreover, it is true that intended parents can not experience every moment of the pregnancy, but developing a healthy bond with the surrogate mother could help a bit. Having a good connection and interaction with the surrogate mother allows for a great bond with the child.
Myth 2- A surrogate could change her mind and keep the baby
Fact- this is another concern that many people are accompanied with, but it’s not true at all. Yes, surrogates can develop an emotional bond with the baby as they carry him/her for 9 months, but they do not have any right to keep the baby. In Gestational surrogacy, legal agreements clearly state all the rights of the involved parties before pregnancy begins so that such a situation would never occur in the future. These agreements protect the rights of both intended parents and surrogates while making clear that surrogates do not have any right to claim child custody as they are not biologically related.
Though surrogacy is majorly based on trust, shared understanding, and transparency between both parties, the legal process is a reflection of it. The agreements are spelled out as parentage, which are filed with the courts before pregnancy begins, so that there is no room left for any sort of confusion in the future. Thus, the legal process keeps everything close when it comes to rights and custody matters. The legal framework gives clarity to both intended parties and surrogates regarding their legal rights.
Myth 3- Surrogacy is only for wealthy or rich couples
Fact- While surrogacy can be expensive, it is not exclusively for the wealthy. Many clinics and agencies offer flexible payment plans, loans, and financial counseling to help a wider range of intended parents pursue surrogacy. Additionally, some countries and states have programs or insurance options that can offset costs. Surrogacy is chosen by people from diverse economic backgrounds who are committed to building a family.
Myth 4- Surrogacy is the same as adoption
Fact- Surrogacy and adoption are fundamentally different processes. In surrogacy, the intended parents are often genetically related to the child, as their sperm and/or eggs are used to create the embryo. The surrogate carries the baby but is not the legal parent. In adoption, the adoptive parents have no genetic link to the child and become legal parents after the child is born and legal processes are completed.
Myth 5- Surrogate is in the process only for money
Fact- While surrogates receive compensation, financial gain is rarely the sole motivation. Most surrogates are driven by a desire to help others experience parenthood, and many report a deep sense of fulfillment from their role. The screening process for surrogates is thorough, ensuring that candidates are emotionally and psychologically prepared and have altruistic intentions.
Myth 6- Surrogates transfer their genetics to the baby
Fact- In gestational surrogacy, which is the most common form today, the surrogate has no genetic connection to the baby. The embryo is created from the intended parents’ (or donors’) egg and sperm and then transferred to the surrogate’s uterus. The surrogate’s role is to carry and nurture the pregnancy, not to provide genetic material.
Myth 7- Every woman can become a surrogate
Fact- No, not every woman can become a surrogate, as there are some specific terms and conditions for becoming a surrogate. Every surrogacy agency is very clear about the requirements for women to become surrogates so that no further complication occurs. The first aspect that needs to be considered is that a woman intending to become a surrogate has had a previous successful pregnancy and delivered without any complications. The age criteria should be as per the needs, mainly it should be above 21 and below 40, so that a healthy pregnancy can be expected.
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Why Busting Myths Matters
At first glance, these myths might seem harmless, but their impact runs much deeper. They create stigma, add emotional challenges for Intended Parents and Surrogates, and shape how society perceives surrogacy in ways that can be both unfair and hurtful. Misconceptions don’t just confuse; they influence public opinion, often leading people to make snap judgments about something they don’t fully understand.
For Surrogates, these myths can undermine the incredible generosity and dedication they bring to the process. For Intended Parents, adding unnecessary emotional weight to what is already a deeply personal journey can be detrimental. Addressing these myths isn’t just about correcting falsehoods; it’s about fostering empathy, respect, and understanding in a world where surrogacy is becoming a more viable option.
If you are worried about your surrogacy journey or are in a dilemma about these myths, Surrogacy Plus is here to help you in every step of your journey.
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